So I'm back from Nashville. I had a blast there, and my newfound energy and stamina were more than evident to me during all the walking I did there. I've thought to myself many times, it's like I've had a full body transplant. It's wonderful. I had several treats while away, but I still kept myself in check. Overall gain was right at a pound, but that doesn't worry me really. I did a little drinking, tried sushi for the first time, but I also got plenty of exercise and made a point to ensure my one late evening meal was a grilled chicken salad with light vinaigrette.
Today was supposed to be Day 1 of compensation behavior, but so far I'm not doing so hot. It's just one of those days. I don't let them discourage me though because I know every day of bad behavior serves as an even stronger motivational tool the following day as the guilt increases to the point of being entirely unbearable.
Some silly milestone moments have happened over the past week. Though they're simple and quite personal, I for one, enjoy reading about other people's experiences with small yet beautiful victories that only a select few can fully appreciate.
For one, I bought a pair of jeans off the rack at American Eagle. For those not familiar with the store it is a reasonably hip brand of clothing aimed at teens and twenty-somethings. It was long just another store on a list of stores I never ever considered before my weight loss. A store I wouldn't venture into because it would've been so blatantly obvious that I couldn't fit in a single thing they had there. To be able to go into that store and have jeans fit was more mindblowing and thrilling and emotional than most would ever believe. It was a delightful feeling of what I hesitate to refer to as 'achieving normalcy'. Now I don't mean that in a demeaning way, but I lived so much of my life feeling that I was not simply at one end of a spectrum. I was off that spectrum entirely.
Yesterday, I went shopping at the mall again, and I went to a store that has a small selection of plus size clothing in addition to misses/juniors sizes. Before, there was a long expanse of time that I was too large for even the plus size offerings they had. It used to enrage me that their jeans only went up to size 24. But now, I went in picked out a polka dotted skirt from the rack in a size XL, and it was too large! I had to get a large instead. Now that was mindblowing to me. It still floors me to carry a bag through the mall knowing that the contents are a size medium and a size large. :)
Finally, while in Nashville I had another small realization that truly delighted me. My favorite moments of simple joy arise from subtle reminders of how far I've come. Part of my trip included accompanying my best friend to some medical appointments. I had to ride elevators several times. Very crowded elevators. It used to humiliate me to ride elevators, especially crowded ones. I just knew that everyone was judging me...wondering about the weight limit etc. Well this time, I was free of that. Entirely free. I was just another person. Not anything to tempt the others to judge or wonder. It was so nice.
I hope I didn't bore you all with my little triumphs. I'm sure you all can relate or at the very least are motivated by them.
I wish you all the best.
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.